THE GREAT WEEKEND WRITEUP - BY DIPESH SHARMA

FRIDAY:

It all started on Friday night. Well, I thought it did, because Dosai and me couldn't remember what did we do or where were we on Thursday eve. It all comes back to me. Thursday was at Manu's place. Anyhow, Dosai wanted to join the Gym to enhance his 'Tai Chai' skills. Picked him and DJ from the beach, asked my maid to cook some chicken, called up Manu to join us and WhozFruityKid promised to be there by midnight (Yeah Right!). Regrouped at my place at around 8 PM. LET THERE BE ALCOHOL, we said. One case of KF, a batlee of Old Monk and a bottle of Teacher's. Manu left at 10:30 as he looked drunk from the previous night itself. Then came the major drinking concentrating on Beers. During one smoking session on the Balcony, DD and Dosai decide to show off muscles to DJ

Doasi: (Flexing his biceps) Feel this machan, this is muscle
DJ: (lightly touching bicep) Wow
DD: Feel my shoulder...this is muscle
DJ: Wow
Dosai: See my fore arm? Touch it man, its all muscle
DJ: It is awsome
DD: See this? (point to shin)
DJ: Wow, that's so solid
DD: Yeah, it's bone.

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA .....

Then a few calls to Booby, who insisted that he is in a meeting, but background noise was more like music, party, cinema hall, Dutta......

Dosai stops drinking at two, after making some serious pronunciation mistakes, spitting out words that no sane or sober person could recognize. For example: Brahamnium = Brahmin sitting in Ramniam building, I assume Ashok lickland = a Lesbian truck????

Dosai concentrated on Sharbat till Booby arrived, who immediately went for the bottle of scotch like a dog at a bitch in heat. Dosai and DJ left at 4:30 after a lot of naansense talk. Bobby and me drank till 6:30, with him ranting about how he is gonna reach home. After making three different plans, he finally left, 3/4th of a bottle of scoth in his bloodstream, when the guy who's bike he had borrowed pleaded with him a few times to come back. Calls me next morning to ask how he reached home. Fakkan guy!!!!

SATURDAY:

Too much drinking on Friday, and a pending ride on Sunday early morning, so Dosai and me swore: No drinking tonight! Dosai and me hit the gym at 4:30 while Bob, Satya and better halves were visiting temples. Straight to P-Tabby's to inspect my bike (AWESOME, wait till you guys see it). Met Ravi there and after a few calls, gathered at Bob's place. Bob, Sapna, Satya and Dolly were there. Dosai and Ravi enter with usual hi's and hellos. Sapna and Dolly pounce on Dosai, full biting and clawing. Don't want to know why. Then an extremely good looking guy enters.

Everyone: Hey DD, what's up!

After very little convincing, and some damn good pakoras, courtesy Bob's Mom, Dolly and Sapna, We are ready to drink again with a promise on only one beer, which turns to two, and a then a plan to go to my place and drink more. Damn, I'm easy!! It's raining very hard, and Dosai decides to drive my car. Bobby, Dosai, Ravi and me head off home after parting ways with Satya, Dolly and Sapna. A few mysterious phone calls on the way and we hook up with DJ and his guitarist friend, who land up at my place, full strings tightened and tuned.

The Drinking begins again with the musicians jammin', the camera recording everything. This is when we discovered (You learn something new everyday):

1. Bobby has a Peter North
2. DJ is a big fan of Peter North, as he is the facial cumshot god. After this particular discovery I have strictly asked DJ to stay away from me and never, NEVER, touch me. If anyone ever wants to explore the other side of their sexuality, please contact DJ.
3. Bobby is a big fan of Jamie Carson (he meant Jenna Jameson)
4. Dutta's jeep, per WhozKid, can ride a 300 degree incline!!!!! !!!!!
5. The definition of Teleportation is being at two places in one time. There is a picture of Ravi's teleported feet from that night.

Ffffakkan guys!!!!

Bobby insists on a "Profession" video of "college of Satyabhama" and sits down to sing to live guitars with the lyrics in front of him. He also insists that Dosai do the chorus and no one else sings. Another thing we discovered is that when drunk, Bob is blind. He messed up the lyrics even while reading them out. Somewhere in the middle he starts singing Hotel Satyabhama.

And then:

There she stood wit the candle....In the dark of the night!!!

Dosai sitting next to Bob is trying to kill himself as he no longer can bear the torture to bobby singing in his ear. All captured on Video. Fackin' Hilarious.

Now comes the best part. Ravi and Dosai, my friends, are geniuses. They did a 20 second video on Princes' My Name is Prince, with Ravi's hands behind his back, and Dosai using his hands from behind Ravi. The Video is very disturbing. Bordering on gay beastality and twisted erotisicm, I would not advice the sane of mind and faint of heart to see. Since that breed doesn't exist within the Jets, YOU HAVE TO SEE THE VIDEO! It will change your life forever! I guarantee you that.

After an hour of laughing and consequent aching neck and jaw muscles, some more drinking and jammin wonlee. Dosai leaves in my car at 3:00. Everyone else ate, finishing everything, absolutely everything to eat in my house. I had water for breakfast next morning. Now there are three bikes, four people (if Ravi can be called one after the video) and two guitars, one without a cover. One of the bikes was a single seater.
After much deliberation, I think the plan was that, Ravi would stand behind Bob on the single seater holding the guitar. Must have been a facking hilarious sight if they had done that. Everyone says good night and leaves at 4:00 WE all knew the ride is not happening at 8 AM.

SUNDAY:

Get up at 8:00 with Jai's call. Straightaway lied when he asked "Dont tell me you just woke up". Please read Jai's post about the Mahabs ride. Mellu, Dosai and me pushed off to Pondy to have beer at a beach facing bar. Great time drinking listening to rock, and clicking lot of pictures (even a French babe hailing a rickshaw). All my SMSs of a great time we were having at Pondy irritated everyone enough to meet us at Mahabs for dinner. Successfull bootlegging of 7 bottles of alchohol. A couple of Chai's and some romantic sunset pics ( a.k.a. roadside gay sex) of Raja and Dosai we reach Mahabs at 9. Almost everyone, but Bob (you suck, main jet) and Satya were there for come crabe eating and beer drinking. The evening is a haze so if anything interesting happened, some one please write. Interesting pics, but with so little blood in my alcohol stream, I don't remember much. I think Raja got his arse kicked by his mom. All in all, great great weekend. Please add to this if I have missed something.


Peace
Dosai